Wouldn’t it be nice to pay off debt without having your financial issues compromising your dating abilities? It seems like something that should not relate to each other. However, you might be surprised at how important it really is when it comes to marriage and relationships.
We all know how money plays an important roll in any marriage. While your emotions will play a huge role, it is also important to imagine the kind of life that you will live with a person. No matter how much you love someone, if they will compromise your financial success because of the way they manage money, it will become stressful down the road. You will end up feeling resentful towards them. That can put a strain on the relationship that you may never recover from.
Does that mean you should find someone who does not have any debt?
Not exactly. A lot of Americans are in debt – some more than the others. In fact, 2 out of 10 Americans owe so much debt that it eats up 50% to 100% of their monthly income. It will take you forever to find that special someone. And if you have your own debts to worry about, you cannot expect your date to have any credit obligations.
Some people might postpone dating or marriage just because they still have to pay off debt. But the truth is, you do not have to choose between paying off your credit obligations and dating. You can do both – as long as you know how to manage both areas of your life properly.
Dating while paying off debt successfully
It might not be as significant as getting married but dating while hiding all the debts you owe seems quite unfair – especially if things are starting to get serious. A lot of people say that they get turned off when someone has a lot of debt. While this may be something that you will not willingly reveal while you are still in the dating stage, it is also not right for you to keep it from them until after you are married. If you are honest enough, you should be able to do something about the debt even before things escalate to marriage.
Obviously, you need to learn how to manage your finances so you will not look cheap despite your debts and limited financial resources. Here are some tips that will help you enjoy the dating scene without compromising your debt payments.
No need to show off
Admittedly, the dating phase is when we try to show them our best. This is our way of making sure that the person we like would want to see more of us. We want to impress them and get them interested in who we are. However, some people think that impressing someone means you have to spend so much money on them. This is not the case. While you may want to show off, that does not mean you should give them unrealistic expectations. Show your best side but keep it realistic. If you cannot afford to date them in fancy restaurants, do not bring them there.
Think of creative yet cheap date ideas
There are so many ways to go on a date without breaking the bank. First of all, get to know the person you are dating so you can go to where both of you will really enjoy each other’s company. Skip the fancy restaurants that cost a fortune. Some people are not impressed by those. It is more important to go to a place where you can both talk and get to know more about each other. A walk in the park, watching the sunset, etc. These date options will not cost a lot of money and are quite romantic.
Try not to use debt to fund a date
Did you know that 15% of debts are used on dining or nightlife expenses? You can bet that this includes romantic dates. If you want to pay off debt while dating, make sure you are not adding to your balance. You need to budget how much you can spend and stick with it. Do not overspend especially if you are not sure if the both of you will last anyway.
Pay off debt without turning off your date
One of the things that you will probably be cautious of while you are dating is for them to find out how much you really owe. Admittedly, it can be quite embarrassing. But if you are serious about exploring the possibility of a relationship with a person, you need to be honest with them.
Here are tips that you can use so you do not turn off your date even as you pay off debt.
Step 1: Talk about money early
Obviously, this is not a topic that you should discuss on the first date. But if you find yourself dating the same person a couple of times already and it seems to be going strong, it might be time to open up a little. According to a survey, it is acceptable to ask personal finance questions when you are getting serious in the relationship (38%) or when you are dating consistently (34%). Only 2% said that it should be discussed after getting engaged. Obviously, a lot of people think this is already too late.
Of course, you do not have to talk about the heavy stuff immediately. Talk about where you live, what your career, future plans, etc. These do not necessarily talk about money but it will give each other an idea about the current financial position and any goals for the future. It is a good place to start.
Step 2: Open up about debt
When you are really serious about each other, it is safe to talk about your respective debt struggles. Admittedly, this can be very uncomfortable to talk about. But there is a way to phrase it so it will not seem as bad as it really is. Say it in such a way that you are getting their advice on what you can do. This will let them know that you do have debt but you are proactive in getting rid of it. Knowing that you want to pay off debt should not make it seem so bad. Unless you are really comfortable or you are already engaged, you do not have toe disclose how much you really owe.
Step 3: Know when to just move on
You have to face the possibility that things may not work out for the two of you because of your financial situation. As painful as that may seem, you just have to consider it a bad relationship that you just dodged. If that person cannot accept the mistakes you did in the past, then they are not really invested in having you in their future. Instead of worrying about them, continue to pay off debt so that the next time you date another, you are now more confident about your financial situation.